Ohio has enough problems these days. RINO Governor Mike DeWine, led by the nose by his public health czar Amy Acton, has led an arbitrary and confused reopening. From one minute to the next, Governor DeWine seemingly vacillates between aspects of reopening. Bars, restaurants, and other businesses are left with a mish-mash of regulations and impositions, vexed and without clear-cut commerce.

But DeWine and Acton are souls of probity compared to elected officials in Ohio’s Franklin County. Not counting the race hustlers, they are possibly the dumbest elected officials ever to walk the fruited plains. Oh, the race hustlers are not dumb. In fact, they’re quite sharp in using other fools to do their bidding. How have they done this?

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Commissioners in Franklin County passed a resolution Tuesday that declares racism a public health crisis. Yes, coronavirus and other maladies secretly don white pointy hoods before they enter the body.

“Racism has been a pandemic long before the current coronavirus pandemic,” said logic-challenged Commissioner Kevin L. Boyce. “Our declaration today is important, but it’s not saying anything that hasn’t been apparent for a long time. COVID-19 has highlighted the health divide between black and white Ohioans, however, and I hope that it can be the catalyst we need to reform the whole health system so that it works for all of us equally.”

That’s right. Disease decides, because it has independent thought and locomotion, that it will target minority populations. It recalls the old joke headline, “Mars to Crash into Earth Tomorrow Night. Woman and Minorities Hurt Worst.”

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The declaration describes race as a “social construct with no biological basis.” So hold on: If it is only a social construct with no biological basis then how in the world has it been transformed into a health crisis?

It also identifies two types of racism: individualized racism and systemic racism. The commissioners said both types of racism have led to “persistent discrimination and disparate outcomes between white people and people of color.” Housing, education, employment and criminal justice were explicitly named as areas of life where discrimination is seen. We’re back to our old pal “people of color,” as if all white people are transparent albinos.

Now, we’re not saying racism doesn’t exist—it does and sadly always will. And the areas they name above certainly are tainted by racism to some extent. But none of those areas make it a health issue. Thus, these gits are making hay with the virus crisis to try and slip a loony notion into the public discourse. Of course, many will buy it. Others, like you and this publication, will give it the mockery and derision it deserves.

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“Nothing is more important than the health and wellbeing of our residents,” said Board of Commissioners president and political circus geek John O’Grady: “Our community’s success depends on all Franklin County residents being able to share in it, but right now we have a system that is resulting in different outcomes for people based on the color of their skin. That’s not acceptable.”

What else is not acceptable? Mau-mauing your way into the headlines by making statements that are patently absurd. “Racism may be intentional or unintentional,” said Joe Mazzola, the Franklin County health commissioner. “We must address injustices caused by racism and we must support actions at all levels to ensure equal opportunity for all.” Nice trick, “intentional or unintentional.” So even if you’re not a racist, even if you’ve never consciously done anything remotely racist, well, you’re still a racist.

In other Franklin County, Ohio news: Lint on sweaters, disappointing breakfasts, and rainy days have all been declared racist. The Board of Commissioners will issue a declaration declaring such on Monday, if they can just wriggle out of their straitjackets.

This piece was written by David Kamioner on May 22, 2020. It originally appeared in LifeZette and is used by permission.

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