If you’re connected and want to get out of a jam, try to make your case with your pants on. Also, make the call after the arrest. Do not invoke your protector’s name publicly, thus ensuring they won’t help you.

FNC: “A Michigan state lawmaker who was arrested earlier this month following a suspected DUI crash refused to have his booking photo taken, arguing that officers weren’t following state coronavirus guidelines, video shows, according to a report. State Rep. Jewell Jones, a Democrat who was taken into custody April 6 after crashing his SUV, warned authorities that ‘Big Gretch’ – aka Gov. Gretchen Whitmer – would be coming after them if they didn’t allow him to wear a face mask for the photo, FOX 2 of Detroit reported.

“During the exchange, a sheriff’s officer informs Jones that the governor already ‘knows about this,’ referring to Jones’ arrest, and advises Jones to start complying with instructions. Jones has been charged with resisting and obstructing, operating a vehicle with a high blood alcohol content, operating while intoxicated, reckless driving, and possession of a weapon while under the influence of alcohol, according to the station. Authorities have said his blood alcohol level was twice the legal limit following the crash.

“When responding officers arrived at the crash scene, Jones and a female passenger were both found with their pants partially down, the Michigan Information & Research Service said in a report, according to FOX 2. Jones also invoked Whitmer’s name at the time of his arrest, the station reported.”

“You know what? Big Gretch is the homie,” Jones said, according to a video obtained by FOX 2. “When she finds out about this, she might be a little upset about the treatment. She’s very serious about the pandemic so I’m just wondering if I can wear the mask.”

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“I run y’alls’ budget,” Jones told state troopers. “When I call Gretchen, I’ll need y’all IDs and badge numbers, everything.” First off, in a respectable society he would have been arrested for his lack of proper grammar and his red shoes. But more importantly, it shows he thinks one rule applies to connected politicians, another to the rest of us. Sadly, that happens more places than Michigan.